I just had to write that as a title. It's more for my own laugh. Last week I was at my computer with my patio doors (except for the screen) open to let the nice weather in and to be able to hear the birds (yay!)
Well, I mentioned before that a robin hopped around on my patio in the middle of a snow storm. This day a robin was having fun dancing around on my patio again, as well as some other type of bird that I haven't been able to identify yet. I had various birds waltzing around on the patio, and one flew right to the top of the patio door and began to sing. After a while it left that perch for a little bit. I wondered to myself "These birds seem pretty brash. I wonder if I left the screen door open, would they just fly right into my apartment?" Well, only a few moments later that little bird flew at the screen door and perched it's little feet on the screen door! If I had the screen door open, it would have flown right in!
I'm glad they feel comfortable here. I think that same bird is outside right now chirping and flitting around. Maybe he/she is annoyed because I have all my plants outside on the patio right now to get some sun. Maybe these extra plants are cramping this little bird's style. I also wonder if this little bird will be so brash when I am sitting out on that patio! It's fun to have birds so close. Growing up in the country my parents had a bird book and we would look up the different types of birds we saw. I wish I had that book now!
Monday, May 5, 2008
De-cluttering is not always calming
I guess I encourage people to de-clutter. I say this because a friend recently emailed to tell me she had done some de-cluttering. YAY for her! (I recalled my bridal shower where friends reminded me of fun experiences we had shared. I would guess that over half of my friends mentioned something about me helping them de-clutter or because of a conversation they had de-cluttered or gone through their closet.) I love talking with people about this topic. This friend that emailed said that her efforts weren't the calm, feng shiu type of de-cluttering. I emailed back to encourage her to de-clutter when you've got the "bug" or urge to do it, and that in my experience de-cluttering isn't necessarily a calming action. De-cluttering tends to bring up a lot of issues. I can choose to let the item (and it's associated negative energies and/or memories) go, or I choose not to. Some things are harder to make a decision about when it comes to decision time.
Do I use it? No. Do I keep it? Yes. Should I keep it? WRONG question to ask! Should is not a nice word. It implies expectations. It often also shifts the responsibility of keeping the item to an external "other" that we are trying to please. Should I keep it? Should implies that you are trying to seek or are seeking the approval of some outside being (or someone or something other than yourself) to determine if YOU are going to be responsible for keeping that object.
So, there's a lot going on when you are de-cluttering. Issues are brought to the forefront of your mind again (both good and bad), you are faced with making a decision about the item(s) or post-poning the decision again, and then there is always disposal. De-cluttering is not what I would call calming, but I often am energized by de-cluttering. And I LOVE the feeling of a room when a lot of "guck" has been cleared out of it!
So, de -cluttering does not necessarily equal a calm experience, but I find that the end result is a more calm environment and feeling better! Happy de-cluttering!
Do I use it? No. Do I keep it? Yes. Should I keep it? WRONG question to ask! Should is not a nice word. It implies expectations. It often also shifts the responsibility of keeping the item to an external "other" that we are trying to please. Should I keep it? Should implies that you are trying to seek or are seeking the approval of some outside being (or someone or something other than yourself) to determine if YOU are going to be responsible for keeping that object.
So, there's a lot going on when you are de-cluttering. Issues are brought to the forefront of your mind again (both good and bad), you are faced with making a decision about the item(s) or post-poning the decision again, and then there is always disposal. De-cluttering is not what I would call calming, but I often am energized by de-cluttering. And I LOVE the feeling of a room when a lot of "guck" has been cleared out of it!
So, de -cluttering does not necessarily equal a calm experience, but I find that the end result is a more calm environment and feeling better! Happy de-cluttering!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Acting
Evil HR Lady had a very funny post ( the one with the you tube video of "Charlie bit me" watch it again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM). That short little clip reminds me of something that rubs me the wrong way about this society that we live in.
Everyone is an actor. The little boy saw that a camera was pointed at him--and he performed. He bit his (I assume) brother. And even worse--he smiled! He knew the camera was on him so he performed and smiled knowing that the world would laugh with him.
I feel like I don't know what it means to be me. I have been living a 'role' (that of good Mormon girl, or Good Mormon Daughter) my whole life. How I saw everything was based on the role. How I related to people. How I treated myself (not very kindly, mind you) was all based on 'performing' that role well.
Well, almost a year ago I quit that contract. I have gone through a major personal upheaval trying to figure out "who am I?!" because I never acted or made decisions based on my own desires. I still get caught up in 'role' thinking. It takes time to let go of that. And you don't necessarily let it go on it's own. You do need to replace certain thinking or ways of thinking with something else.
Everyone is an actor. The little boy saw that a camera was pointed at him--and he performed. He bit his (I assume) brother. And even worse--he smiled! He knew the camera was on him so he performed and smiled knowing that the world would laugh with him.
I feel like I don't know what it means to be me. I have been living a 'role' (that of good Mormon girl, or Good Mormon Daughter) my whole life. How I saw everything was based on the role. How I related to people. How I treated myself (not very kindly, mind you) was all based on 'performing' that role well.
Well, almost a year ago I quit that contract. I have gone through a major personal upheaval trying to figure out "who am I?!" because I never acted or made decisions based on my own desires. I still get caught up in 'role' thinking. It takes time to let go of that. And you don't necessarily let it go on it's own. You do need to replace certain thinking or ways of thinking with something else.
Letting go, of people
I visited some professors of mine this last week and enjoyed staying in touch with them, and listening to their positive encouragement for my personal growth and professional development. It was very nice. But I also noticed, something always seems to strike a nerve--not in a bad way. But something tugs at my heart where I almost always tear up about something.
As I thought about this more, I realized that perhaps this tug at the heart is more deeply about loss. One of my professors passed away. I attended the funeral, the memorial service, and the lunch. But I still miss this person. I recieved approval and encouragment to live my dreams from this person. This person was also very influential in my choice to return to graduate school. I still miss this person.
I have never really had anyone close to me die. Yes, I've had grandparents pass away, but they lived far away and I didn't have a very close relationship to them. Here I find myself, stuck--still dealing with grief and loss every time I set foot back on campus, remembering this wonderful person.
It seems to compound the loss I feel about losing so many other people in my life as I stepped away from my religion. I have bumped into a few of these people on occasion, but it's not the same. I'm different and they are different. We don't share the same basic assumptions about life, so 'how do I act around you now?' seems to be the feeling I get from them as well as feel myself.
I don't have any advice about letting go of people of this sort. I have plenty about letting go of people that are clutter or negative influences in your life. But loss through death, or voluntarily leaving a community mind-set of people--I still struggle a bit on how to make peace with this.
As I thought about this more, I realized that perhaps this tug at the heart is more deeply about loss. One of my professors passed away. I attended the funeral, the memorial service, and the lunch. But I still miss this person. I recieved approval and encouragment to live my dreams from this person. This person was also very influential in my choice to return to graduate school. I still miss this person.
I have never really had anyone close to me die. Yes, I've had grandparents pass away, but they lived far away and I didn't have a very close relationship to them. Here I find myself, stuck--still dealing with grief and loss every time I set foot back on campus, remembering this wonderful person.
It seems to compound the loss I feel about losing so many other people in my life as I stepped away from my religion. I have bumped into a few of these people on occasion, but it's not the same. I'm different and they are different. We don't share the same basic assumptions about life, so 'how do I act around you now?' seems to be the feeling I get from them as well as feel myself.
I don't have any advice about letting go of people of this sort. I have plenty about letting go of people that are clutter or negative influences in your life. But loss through death, or voluntarily leaving a community mind-set of people--I still struggle a bit on how to make peace with this.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
the healing garden
I started my 'flower garden' (i.e. the seeds) indoors not even two weeks ago. I have already transplanted the Comos because they grew too tall for the starter storage container so quickly. I now have two sweet pea plant that are banging their heads on the roof top of the starter kit. Wow! It is fun to see them grow.
I was just finishing reading "Tending the Earth, Mending the Spirit: The Healing Gifts of Gardening" by Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler as I began my flower garden. If you love gardening, I highly recommend this book. If you don't like gardening, but have suffered a loss or are going through a difficult time, I highly recommend this book. It doesn't focus on the how-to's of gardening, but rather the emotional healing, the spiritual connection people feel towards the earth and others as they create and tend to their gardens. Connie Goldman shares comments from gardeners from all over the country about how they feel while they garden, why they garden, the healing and help to endure/survive difficult times that has come through gardening in peoples lives.
I really liked it. And I do believe that many people are suffering in various ways (high stress, anger, disconnection and isolation) by a lack of connection with the earth and growing things. One day I became extremely upset over something a (distant) family member said. I was livid. I knew I needed to get out of the house and run to a store with a plant nursery. Let me tell you it helped. Granted, I did a lot of self talking, but just being around plants truly helps me to calm down. There is a large indoor garden in my city that I love to visit on occasion. It helps me to feel grounded.
As I feel like I have cut off friends from the past, and even a large portion of my family (by way of leaving the church) I realized-I need new friends--I need a garden! Check out this book from your library (that's where I found this) and see what you think. Let me know your thoughts. I would love to send a copy to Molly over at Green Hope Farms (see my link to her blog on the right of the screen). Molly is often writing about the connection people have with plants and flowers, and the incredible healing power of plants, flowers, and flower essences.
I was just finishing reading "Tending the Earth, Mending the Spirit: The Healing Gifts of Gardening" by Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler as I began my flower garden. If you love gardening, I highly recommend this book. If you don't like gardening, but have suffered a loss or are going through a difficult time, I highly recommend this book. It doesn't focus on the how-to's of gardening, but rather the emotional healing, the spiritual connection people feel towards the earth and others as they create and tend to their gardens. Connie Goldman shares comments from gardeners from all over the country about how they feel while they garden, why they garden, the healing and help to endure/survive difficult times that has come through gardening in peoples lives.
I really liked it. And I do believe that many people are suffering in various ways (high stress, anger, disconnection and isolation) by a lack of connection with the earth and growing things. One day I became extremely upset over something a (distant) family member said. I was livid. I knew I needed to get out of the house and run to a store with a plant nursery. Let me tell you it helped. Granted, I did a lot of self talking, but just being around plants truly helps me to calm down. There is a large indoor garden in my city that I love to visit on occasion. It helps me to feel grounded.
As I feel like I have cut off friends from the past, and even a large portion of my family (by way of leaving the church) I realized-I need new friends--I need a garden! Check out this book from your library (that's where I found this) and see what you think. Let me know your thoughts. I would love to send a copy to Molly over at Green Hope Farms (see my link to her blog on the right of the screen). Molly is often writing about the connection people have with plants and flowers, and the incredible healing power of plants, flowers, and flower essences.
Friday, April 11, 2008
A new take on being unemployed--part 1
The Career Encourager is on vacation this week. http://careerencouragement.typepad.com/the_career_encouragement_/2008/04/happy-friday.html Lucky her. I recall a sibling lamenting the problem with being unemployed is that you can't enjoy your leisure time because that is all you have. Now, my unemployed life is not all leisure time, but it reminds me of my spouse making the comment: "Enjoy it [being unemployed] while you can. Think of this as retirement, because once you start working, you'll be working for the rest of your life."
Good point. Others have also advised me to enjoy my "free time" now before it's gone. This has been fun to fantasize about. As I have cultivated the mindset of 'enjoying my retirement' right now, I've been thinking about the things that I've always wanted to do. It has allowed me a little space to determine what do I really want to do with my life?
Some things aren’t feasible (like vacationing and traveling around the world). But others are in my grasp, and now begun--like starting my flower garden. With this kind of mind-set, perhaps I can refocus my job search and find employment that allows me to make the contributions I want to make to the world and satisfies my life goals. This a great time to contemplate what life pursuits I really want to undertake.
Good point. Others have also advised me to enjoy my "free time" now before it's gone. This has been fun to fantasize about. As I have cultivated the mindset of 'enjoying my retirement' right now, I've been thinking about the things that I've always wanted to do. It has allowed me a little space to determine what do I really want to do with my life?
Some things aren’t feasible (like vacationing and traveling around the world). But others are in my grasp, and now begun--like starting my flower garden. With this kind of mind-set, perhaps I can refocus my job search and find employment that allows me to make the contributions I want to make to the world and satisfies my life goals. This a great time to contemplate what life pursuits I really want to undertake.
Monday, April 7, 2008
A new take on being unemployed--part 2
As I've been trying to determine how I want to enjoy my 'retirement' (i.e. being unemployed) right now, I realized that I have been resisting becoming clear on this. I cling to my excuses of the past-as a Mormon I never was allowed to think of what I wanted, my life was all about others. I now realize that this is just an excuse. This excuse perpetuates a 'victim' mentality AND provides the additional excuse or 'out' from responsibility. If I can't clearly state what I want to do, then it is ok for me to remain in this icky state of floundering and not take action (i.e. go nowhere). By stating what I want--I have to accept responsibility for doing something about it and moving forward. Or accept responsibility for not taking action and moving forward.
Hmmm. I recognize that I am resisting it. And now I know why. These lame excuses don't serve me any more. I am trying to let go of the 'victim' mentality. Yes, it's scary to take responsibility for my life, but I know I can handle it. Previously I believed that God could make something good out of any situation. But what if I now believe that I can make something good out of any of my life's situations? Think what exciting things I can accomplish! I could create my dream job or employment opportunity. Yes, on the flip side I could totally mess my life up (but what's the statistical probability of that? Not very high. And besides-in theory I've already done that!) I'm the type to look on the bright side of life. I find opportunity everywhere.
And what I love about decluttering is the space it opens up for CREATIVITY. So, now that I recognize why I'm resisting, I can declutter it out of my mind, create space, and create the life I always wanted. An early retirement and a job I love!
Hmmm. I recognize that I am resisting it. And now I know why. These lame excuses don't serve me any more. I am trying to let go of the 'victim' mentality. Yes, it's scary to take responsibility for my life, but I know I can handle it. Previously I believed that God could make something good out of any situation. But what if I now believe that I can make something good out of any of my life's situations? Think what exciting things I can accomplish! I could create my dream job or employment opportunity. Yes, on the flip side I could totally mess my life up (but what's the statistical probability of that? Not very high. And besides-in theory I've already done that!) I'm the type to look on the bright side of life. I find opportunity everywhere.
And what I love about decluttering is the space it opens up for CREATIVITY. So, now that I recognize why I'm resisting, I can declutter it out of my mind, create space, and create the life I always wanted. An early retirement and a job I love!
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