Ok. So I wasn't able to attend a choir event this pask week that was held during the day. This means I evaded/avoided having to sing the Jesus-y songs. But I think we are slated to sing at a chapel next week. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get out of this one.
Here's the deal: Do I go ahead and sing the stuff, even though I don't believe it? Seems a bit 'no harm no foul', right? But maybe my Mormon training is kicking in.
As a teen, I was pretty pious and I didn't even like to dance at church dances to songs that had 'questionable' lyrics (i.e. lyrics that implied immorality, etc. Not that there were supposed to be songs playing like that). As an adult I sang in a larger Mormon choir. We would occasionally change a few lyrics of songs to make them fit with Mormon theology. (one example: "All Creatures of Our God and King")
So, do I just go along and sing with the whole choir and enjoy the mixed agony I will feel as we sing all the floofy feel good stuff? OR do I skip it because I do not want to perpetuate a belief in the "I'm so glad you [Jesus] came to save us" bit. Another lyric we sing is something about he came "my debt to pay." And the musical emphasis is on my debt to pay.
Please understand me. I am a debtor only to my credit union for the mortgage on my house, the United States Federal Government for repaying my student loans, and to the credit card company IF I happen to purchase something this month, which I pay off in full every month (so I'm not really in debt to the credit card company). Jesus can't pay any of these debts for me. Wouldn't that be sweet if he could. But please, reality check! Not gonna happen!
So do I sing along, or not? Why does this have to become a moral issue? Oh, I know! Mormon training! Everything is a moral battle between good and evil. ;)
But I know that more deeply, it will affect me on an emotional level. Part of me thinks I need to move forward and confront those feelings, rather than just avoiding them. Growth occurs through moving forward through things, right? Hmmm. I'll see how I feel singing that stuff tomorrow night.