Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My beginings of letting go--forgiveness

Slightly before entering graduate school I heard my mom talk about Flylady. (check out her website at ) I heard a lot about it. The zones, babysteps, the shiny sink, and more. It was interesting. I think I checked it out online. But when I went home to visit--as I hugged my mom I saw over her shoulder --WOW! an empty kitchen counter! (I had never seen that before.) When I spotted that, "Flylady!" popped into my mind. Then I had to run around the house checking out the 'transformation'. It was truly astounding. And mom felt so good about it.
Maybe that is when I checked it out online. I debated about waiting to start decluttering until I started school, but I began doing a few things. I did note however a book that just called to me on her book favorite's page. "Clear your clutter with Feng Shui" by Karen Kingston. I finally ordered it about a month or so into the semester. I knew I wanted it, needed it. I felt confident it was not an impulse buy because I kept thinking about it for weeks.

I dumped a boyfriend right before starting school. He was engaged to someone else within a month. As I struggled to adjust to grad school, feel like I was enough, tried to complete assignments that felt overwhelming, etc., hearing that he was engaged was just too much! I dumped him, and had zero interest in him, but it still hurt. One day I woke up and remembered a lesson from a human relationships/communications class I had taken previously. The main jist--forgiveness releases me from negative energy. I realized I needed to forgive this guy, and ask forgiveness for my bad feelings towards him. (In hindsight this seems like a very Mormon take on "forgiveness," more later). I actually saw him that day, and had the guts to do this. Of course he said he forgave me too. As I walked away the world was brighter and my shoulders were lighter. I went home happy, and what had arrived in the mail that very day? My copy of "Clear your clutter with Feng Shui". It felt like a confirmation from the universe that letting go of him, and any feelings/strings/attachments etc was the right thing to do, it was safe, and I was on my way forward. (upward and onward!)

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